Navigating Conscious Living in the Digital Age

My favorite thing about this platform is that there is so much I am learning alongside you. I am not coming from a place of “see what all I’ve mastered”. I am coming more from a place of “what could help US live more consciously to lead each of us to a healthier and happier life?” I am coming from a place of sharing what I am trying, what I have learned, what I have been through. I have not done anything gracefully and I am far from perfecting it all. 

Currently, I have been focused on how I can start cultivating healthier habits around screen time that can lead to more happiness and bring more calmness to my life.

Is this for you? Let’s see:

(The purpose for this reflection is simply to bring awareness. Awareness with grace, kindness and love for yourself. Awareness that gently allows you to see where slight tweaks and small pivots can be made in your life in order to reach a more desirable lifestyle.)

How often do you reach for your phone?

Are you aware of how much you mindlessly scroll through your phone?

Have you ever looked at the Screen Time analytics on your phone?

How often do you binge watch a show or movies? 

Is the majority of your free time spent on a screen?

When you are around other people, are you sitting on your phone?

When you are sitting and waiting for something, are you on your phone?

When your kids are sitting there playing, are you on your phone?

Do you scroll your phone in the car?

When you’re watching tv, are you also scrolling on your phone?

How much of your to-do list do you get to?

Do you ever use the excuse of not having enough time?

Do you believe you could be utilizing your time in a more positive way?

A long list of questions but it’s important to be honest with yourself. There is no shame or guilt needed here. The amazing thing is that you can improve this habit. There are small tweaks and slight pivots you can be making to gradually build healthier habits around screen time. 

Why is this important?

When we don’t FEEL our best, or when we desire a change in our lives, it’s key to investigate every area of our lives. We can’t just expect a new diet or workout plan to bring us the change we desire, at least not a long term change. We have to be willing to get uncomfortable and dig deep into what we could adjust. 

Screen time is one of those secret blockers. We don’t see how much it’s truly affecting us until we bring awareness to it. So here’s what I noticed for myself. It may be similar to you or spark some awareness around your own habits. 

Screen time has been something I use to disassociate, mostly subconsciously. I am actively trying to get better about it little by little. I have made improvements yet still have room for growth. When you’re looking at a screen, you’re remaining stimulated. You keep those feelings you don’t want to feel buried deep.

The issue is that we are taught to ignore, bury, discredit, or to feel ashamed of negative feelings. In reality, they’re amazing teachers. You simply have to be brave enough to feel them. When you allow yourself to feel them, you’ll open the opportunity to work THROUGH those emotions instead of continuing to run from them. When you eliminate the thing that keeps those feelings away, things begin coming up. It can be scary at first but then you learn how to manage it by facing it. You start discovering ways to support yourself. Supporting yourself brings a healthier and happier life. You build momentum in a more positive direction. 

Here’s an example:

I am at home, the house is a mess, I have house projects I need to get to, we have school work to get to, everyone wants my attention, I have thoughts running through my head of ideas or things I need to take care of. I am being pulled in a million different directions. I get the kids calm and instantly justify a “break” with my phone. I unknowingly want to block the overwhelm and stress that is rising in my body. 

Instead, I can do the following:

-label the feeling. “I have feelings of overwhelm. I am experiencing anxious feelings.” Take a deep belly breath. 

-drink a glass of water. 

-pick one activity I can do while the kiddos are entertained. Dishes, fold a load of laundry, start laundry, sweep.

-make sure the little two have an activity. Knock out a school lesson with my oldest. 

-prep some things for dinner.

-take a break to be present with the kiddos. 

-step away to accomplish one more thing on my list. 

-get the kiddos a meal or snack. Stretch, breathe, drink water, also take a chance to eat. 

*See a flow happening here.*

There are so many times a day where it’s easier to disassociate while I am not having a million things thrown at me. But when I keep the phone down and I’m more intentional with my time, I have way more space than I realize. My to-do list dwindles down, I feel better when the house is in a better state. I am consciously present with my babes, we’re all happier. I take a chance to take small steps with my to-do list instead of being overwhelmed when thinking about it all. 

When you catch yourself disassociating with a screen ask yourself:

-do I really need to scroll?

-what could I be doing now instead?

-when was the last time I had water today? What did I have to eat?

-could I take a walk? Could I stretch for a few minutes?

-when was the last time I just sat quietly to myself?

-“I am feeling uncomfortable just sitting here”. What’s going on? How am I doing? How can I support myself? 

*if a lot is coming up, bring up the note app on your phone and journal. (Yes screen time but productively working through things instead of mindlessly scrolling.) 

Here are some ways you can set more boundaries around screen time:

-don’t instantly grab your phone in the morning. Give yourself three positive things in the morning to do instead. What I would do at first: drink a big glass of water, make myself some coffee, read a book. You could also journal, go for a walk, stretch. Shower, brush your teeth, get yourself ready for the day first. Do your own research, get ideas from others of productive things they do in the morning to set them up for success for their day. From there, determine what is best for you. 

-don’t scroll until you go to sleep. Pick a time when you can turn your phone on airplane mode for the remainder of the day (your alarm will still work if it’s on airplane mode). Give yourself at least an hour. Shower or take a warm salty bubble bath. Dry brush and oil your body. Gua sha stone your face. Journal. Read. Play a card game with your spouse. Have a mocktail that will support your sleep. Get to bed at a decent time. Look for ideas for a bedtime routine and establish what will best prep you for a good night of sleep. 

-set screen time limits on your phone and respect the limits (don’t be guilty of clicking through the limits like I have been). 

-give yourself blocks of the day where you’re phone free. Do it when it works for you. Tell people if needed (when I had clients that needed to contact me, I made them aware of the times of day I had my phone and when I didn’t. It’s a boundary, and it’s ok the set). 

-give yourself a phone free day. Even a social media free day. Give your brain a break. 

-give yourself boundaries around shows and movies. Set a limit and hold yourself accountable. It will be uncomfortable to find something new to do but you may be surprised by what you do instead and how you FEEL. You never know, you may find a cool new hobby. When was the last time you did a puzzle? Played a board game? Do you know how to cross stitch?

Unfortunately in this digital age we have all lost the gift of just simply being. It takes a lot more effort to be present exactly where you’re at. We have become accustomed to constantly being stimulated. The problem is that it doesn't give us the proper space to live a healthier and happier life. 

We will go into screen time often, but this is a start. The awareness piece. Start gently observing what your habits are around screens. From there, establish what slight tweaks and small pivots you can be making to improve those habits where it is needed.