Detach from the Purchase High
When it comes to finances, the biggest thing that saved me was when I recognized and began detaching from the one thing that was blocking me from making any progress. That is, the shopper’s high. You know when you just want to spend money? The feeling you get right after buying something exciting.
In reality, I was wasting so much of my money on things I didn't really need. I would try to justify it with a good deal or an awesome “one time only” discount. I was mindlessly spending money then wondering why I struggled to get out ahead. I had to spend time bringing a lot of awareness to my spending habits (with grace and kindness, of course) before I could begin making small shifts and slight tweaks towards better habits with my money.
I recently wrote a post talking about emotional eating and how I worked through it. And the concept here is similar. I started to recognize the root cause of me craving the shopper’s high. It wasn’t just my inability to control my spending habits, even though that is what I blamed.
It was me distracting myself from something deeper going on by seeking an external source to make me feel better. It’s easy to distract ourselves with food, shopping, screens, or other external sources when we’re resisting facing what is truly going on.
When I felt the strong need to buy something, here is the strategy I implemented.
-I waited. I told myself it was ok to spend some time thinking about it and determine if I do truly need it. (More times than not, I would move on and forget about it).
-I discussed it with my husband. We decided what the draw to the item was and determined if it was a “now” thing or something we could get in the next couple of months.
-I created a wishlist. I have a list of kitchen things, home things, kiddo things, outdoor things, etc. that we turn to when we are ready to upgrade anything in our home.
Next, I took to my trusty approach of writing through it. Here are some journaling prompts that may be helpful:
-Why does this purchase seem so important?
-What would making this purchase do for me?
-How realistic is it that I will use this enough to justify the purchase?
-How have things been going lately?
-What have I been spending a lot of time thinking about?
-What are my true needs?
-What feels more productive- spending money or picking a self-care approach?
Taking the time to ask yourself questions ends up being far more productive than just a quick click or tossing unnecessary things in your cart. If you are ready to start working through the hard feelings and challenging moments, it's time for awareness. Nothing is resolved when your route is to go around something. It will only continue to appear in your life in many different forms.
I will admit, making the conscious choice to not disassociate, numb yourself, distract yourself, is not simple. But I can promise you, it is worth it. I untethered myself from ties that have been blocking me for years when I made the decision to work through my internal needs.
Find support where you can. Continue reading things like this that support your journey. Find a trusted person that will listen to what you’re working on and will be a positive supporter (not someone who will encourage you to stay stuck in habits you wish to change.) Be your own cheerleader. Actively change your thoughts to encouraging ones. If you are telling yourself having to make these changes is unfair and you play the victim, the process will be impossible. But if you choose to feel empowered that you’re making positive changes in order to reach your desired lifestyle, you will go far!
