The Dents That Couldn’t Break Us
Recently Z gifted me the chance to redesign my wedding band with one of his clients who is a jeweler. I instantly started scrolling through her IG for inspiration. I wanted something unique. I have always gone for a very simple band with all of my bands.
I scrolled upon a band that had geometrical dents in the band and fell in love. Not only did I love the design but it sparked something about our story, “the dents that couldn’t break us.”
When sharing about Z and I’s journey, I haven’t ever steered away from admitting that there have been challenges. For starters, he was in chiropractic school when we started dating. Then a year in, a lesion was found on my spinal cord.
To sum up a very complicated story, we spent a few years going through a lot of life happenings. Not only did we have events and circumstances but we were each on our own personal journey while trying to blend our life with each other.
He and I had similar yet very different things we were working through and we worked through them in similar yet very different ways. And I won’t shy away from the fact that we each have somewhat big personalities (so we hear).
The moral of the story, our relationship was tested…a lot. But the thing that I am most proud of is the fact that even in the darkest moments we faced, we stayed right next to each other.
Some people might believe that the second there is dysfunction, disagreements, differences, then that relationship is doomed. And for some, that may be the case.
Then I read the quote “Staying together is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard.” That moment I knew I would always choose my “hard” to be with him by my side.
As we continue to become better versions of ourselves, we are unlocking new levels of our relationship. I am almost grateful that we never had that “honeymoon” phase. Because for us, we are soaking in the phase of what life is like after putting in the work. Our fun wasn’t just at the beginning of the relationship, it only keeps getting better.
Life is always going to be throwing things at you. No marriage will ever be perfect. At the end of the day, it takes commitment to work through the hard stuff. It takes being willing to see your person through their challenging moments.
We both have plenty to work on but it’s worth doing it when you are looking at the big picture together. That has been our saving grace. We became more conscious of how we were showing up for our relationship. We had to wake up and have the hard conversations. We were both willing to break the negative patterns that held us back from the life we truly wanted with each other. We had to get extremely honest about our own personal patterns that we’re holding us back from going all in with our relationship.
We have a clear and strong vision of our future. We refuse to allow a few dents to view the entire thing as totaled.
A few questions you can ponder:
-Do my partner and I truly slow down to check in with each other? Beyond just seeing how the day was?
-Are we consciously planning consistent time together?
-Are we typically distracted when we’re with each other?
