Get Comfortable with being Uncomfortable

Do you have a version of yourself that you would label your dream self? The version of you that is healthy and happy. The one who wakes up ready to crush the day. The one that is facing things with grace. Maybe even a reality you “wish” could be true for you. There are specific things you want for your life and you’re currently in a phase wondering how to make it happen. Or, you may be slipping into a mindset that your dream life will only ever be a dream. 

The last several years I have been searching for the exact formula to become the dream “health nut” I once wanted to be. Little did I know, I would take an extremely drastic pivot. I saw myself being in amazing shape because I worked out all of the time and I was the most dedicated Paleo eater on earth. 

My biggest lesson that needed to knock me on my rear multiple times: the biggest transformations are not comfortable. And sometimes the most uncomfortable part is facing the truth that the steps you believed you needed to take were not the things that would actually allow you to get there. 

At the end of the day, the reality was that I believed all of my problems would be solved when I reached my “dream self”. Naively I believed my problems could be solved by working out and eating a diet that was sure to bring me to my ideal weight. I was chasing an external appearance to solve things instead of digging deep and solving what was going on internally. 

That is how The Conscious Living Approach was created. On my journey, I recognized that very little of my struggles were anything external. Having a specific career, looking a certain way, having a worthy financial status, being the perfect wife and mama, having a picturesque home. None of these things were going to bring me the internal peace I desired. I was forcing myself to chase what worked for other people. To fit into the “norm”. To live the narrative I saw everywhere else. I was driven by what I thought I “needed” to be doing. However, the more I forced myself to focus on everything external, the darker the internal clouds grew. 

And boy did I get rather uncomfortable as my wake up call started to unfold. I will also add that I did not handle this gracefully. Overtime I started to ease into the process a little more. Before that, there were plenty of times where anger and frustration needed to burst to the surface before I could recenter myself. 

I always seemed to find myself questioning why things still weren’t going the way I wanted them to. I was eating healthy, I was forcing myself to workout, yet my life still felt chaotic. Unknowingly I found the magic sauce, overtime I started to uncover what it actually meant to live a healthy AND happy life (beyond exercise and diet). I had to put aside what I thought I “needed” to do. I had to toss out the mindset of “well it’s working for them, maybe that’s the exact approach I need to take.” I had to consciously block any external expectation and go within to determine what I truly needed. I will not sugar coat it, that was terrifying for me. It was putting all of the responsibility on me and it was work that was going to take time and effort. A hard pill to swallow is that there are no “easy” or “quick” fixes. Unfortunately, that is the society we live in and what is heavily marketed. 

I found that my ultimate goal was to do what allowed me to FEEL my best. And that golden rule sent me on a path of getting super honest about what was or wasn’t serving me anymore. And let me tell you, it’s uncomfortable. There are boundaries set, hard conversations had, and leaps that were scary. I had to change habits that were deeply ingrained. I had to continue to show up for myself to think in a new way. I had to do some things that were not necessarily the norm in order to do what was best for me (and eventually my family). 

I had to get uncomfortable enough to write my own script. To get honest about what worked for ME. To discover what was truly in alignment for me. I had to be accepting of the fact that what works for me may not look the same as people I am close with. And that is ok. The more I started to tell myself this, I started recognizing that many people were unapologetically living their life the way they saw fit. Why was I continuing to hold myself back? 

This seems like the perfect time for a disclaimer. Some people will unapologetically live the life they see fit for them, yet still judge others. They may believe that what they are doing is “the” way. This is not true. Everyone is entitled to do what allows them to FEEL their best. There is no perfect route to this. My intention is to create a platform that creates a safe space for people to look internally to find what works best for them. It’s ok to learn what people are doing for the purpose of inspiration but the more you try to do things like everyone else, the further you will get away from your true needs. 

I love self-improvement. These are the books I gravitate towards and the accounts I follow. I love learning from other people but it took a lot of work to find the right people. I couldn’t follow the exact diet plan of someone. I didn’t have the space for a flawless morning routine. I was never going to be someone who worked out seven days a week. I found the people that inspired me to upgrade my mindset, to own my self-worth, to discover the confidence I needed to truly live the life I wanted. I had to be reading the books and scrolling the accounts that had a platform of lifting people up instead of the ones preaching their way as THE way. 

In the attempt to hyping myself up for living the life that works for me, I started to uncover what I truly needed. Here are somethings I found that I love: 

-learning about our food. Where it comes from, how it is made. I found that educating myself on food gave me the space to eat food I loved, in a healthier way, that still allowed me to FEEL my best. It released me from diets and brought me to a comfortable place with what I am eating with zero guilt or shame. 

-moving my body in a way that isn’t forced. I rarely give myself a workout schedule. I set an intention to move my body a certain amount of days and I find classes or movement that fits for that specific day. I am loving spin class, yoga, running, and random workout classes with friends. 

-accepting that for our family, my main role of being at home works best for us. Yet, it is ok for me to still desire something outside of my main role. I am giving myself the space to discover how I can pursue my passions while still loving and being present in my role at home with our small babes. 

-creating a mamahood that I don’t need an escape from. I felt pressure of always being at home, yet felt pulled to be at home when I was gone. I am understanding the importance of needing to do stuff for me, but I get to determine what it looks like. I would force myself out of the house to get a break but wasn’t doing things that truly filled my cup up. If I take a break away from home, I want to come back rejuvenated and present. And finding what that looks like has been a whole new journey. 

-finding a supportive community. My way of living looks different, and somewhat similar, to my friends. Yet, our differences aren’t challenged or shamed. We are able to discuss our approaches to life without judgment of the other or questioning ourselves. 

And because of this I have been able to fully dive into my life lately. With the gift of no longer questioning if what I am doing is right or wrong. I have recognized my anxiety being less present. I don’t get as overwhelmed thinking what I am doing is wrong. When I am unapologetically living my own life (with zero judgment of how others are living), I show up better to accomplish what I want. 

-My relationship with my husband and children continues to get stronger as I have the capacity to be more present with them. 

-My home feels better and better as I make it our own with the things we need (and the clutter we don’t need). 

-My health is better than ever as I hold the line of the food that does or doesn’t work for us. 

-By accepting where we are at in our life, I am able to start slowly adding in things of our “dream life” when possible. I keep sneaking in more chickens until we have the land to fill with every farm animal we already have names for. Our garden continues to expand each year until we have acres to grow on. 

-My creativity is flowing like never before as I continue to learn the balance that works for me to be present at home while still pursuing my passions.  

-I love learning about how other people are creating a life that works for them and their family. Everyone’s approach and needs are different. It’s a relief to learn out of curiosity with zero chance of shaming myself or feeling guilty when I hear how they’re doing something. 

The only path to your dream life is by discovering how to live it in alignment with yourself. If you can’t get comfortable in the life you’re living, it’s time to get uncomfortable and start asking the hard questions:

-Am I doing “blank” because I feel like it’s what I am “supposed” to do?

-Is this route being forced?

-How am I truly doing? What are the constant feelings I have?

-In a dream world, what would my life look like?

-How can I start taking small steps in order to get there?

-Who is a safe person I can express this to for support?

-Am I doing this to honor my needs and wants or am I doing this to please someone else?

-What external encouragement can I find that supports my wants/needs? (books, people doing similar things, resources). 

Now, this is all a drop in the bucket. Like I said, I have been uncomfortable for several years as I am figuring this all out. I have failed, I have succeeded. But the one thing that is constant, whether what I do is a failure or success, is that I am getting closer and closer to living my dream life that is in alignment with what is best for me. It is allowing me to show up as my true self. It is allowing me to FEEL better more often than not. 

This platform is my passion. Creating a safe space to provide people with the encouragement they need to reach their healthiest and happiest self, no matter how that looks for them. My intention is to provide bite size content that sparks the small pivots or slight tweaks you can make to continue striving towards what is best for YOU. I am always down to give a needed pep talk whenever someone begins to question themselves because I held myself back for a long time. 

I hope this was the pep talk you needed to get honest with yourself. I hope you are feeling brave enough to get a little uncomfortable in order to make the changes needed. I will always be here virtually cheering you on to live your life unapologetically. You may just find that your dream life really isn’t that far out of reach.