Mama.hood. My lanta. This is something I dreamed about my whole life but no one can prepare you for what it truly involves, am I right? (insert nervous laughter). To be transparent, mamahood knocked me on my ass. I am not sure if you are a mama and feel the same way, but the transition was real.
It took me a hot minute to get my footing, and I still feel wobbly at times but I am getting immensely better. I can weirdly say I am somewhat getting the hang of this season of mamahood and feel more prepared for seasons to come.
A lot of our days come with planning, navigating, doing, adapting, being all of the things. That alone can be overwhelming even without the added moods of the household on any given day. For a large majority of my journey so far I, at times, resented it. For me, it was a hard reality to face.
Let’s not get too far into that though. It can be a rabbit hole of negativity. That is a glimpse of where I was at…my focus for this post is to give you a glimpse at the tweaks I have started to make to make a positive pivot in my mamahood journey.
I want to soak in my babes. I want to have the dream household I constantly imagine in my head. I want to show up in a way that is supportive of the development of these littles of mine. I have had many nights with my face in my hands and tears streaming down as I questioned “HOW?!?” “How can I actually make that dream vision a reality?”
To pick myself up, I brought awareness to the fact that it was my responsibility to right the ship. I didn’t like the way many of our days were going. Everything felt out of control. I knew all of us were strung out because of it. The gentle awareness was actually more empowering than I thought.
Now, this responsibility may come as a “no duh” to some, but that also comes with an immense amount of pressure. Buuuuut, I am going to simplify it for those who feel the pressure and need small baby steps to start owning this responsibility with more ease.
Here we go:
Cover the small things first. You have FULL permission to think of yourself. It was hard for me to accept that, and I have many friends who can admit the same. However, if you don’t consider YOU, your household has a much smaller chance at flowing in the way you desire.
Start slowly with becoming more conscious of your habits throughout the day. If you are not covering those things, you may not be showing up how you want. Unfortunately, when we can’t show up how we want, then it is typically a domino effect for our household. Be honest with yourself about where you’re at with these things and pick one task at a time to be more mindful of. When you master it, more to another one. Baby steps make lasting changes =).
I hate yelling at my littles, it doesn’t make any of us FEEL better and more times than not, it doesn’t help the situation. I want to be connected to my littles and most of the time, I felt like my reactions were only disconnecting us. I had to get honest with myself about what would truly help. I wanted to teach them how to calm their bodies down instead of just expecting them to know how to do that. It is the long term solutions that bring positive long term results. If this is something you feel like you need to dive into more, here are some books I have turned to recently:
Set your home up for success. If you want the energy in your house to shift, you need to make sure there is space for that to happen. So yes, taking care of your own needs and managing your emotions is major. But ask yourself, can you do either of those things if your environment is wonky? This can be through clutter, lack of organization, and messes everywhere. Here are some things I had to start with:
How much stuff do you have just laying around? Find a spot for them. Go through the mail and paperwork when you get it instead of throwing it on the counter. Have a spot for laundry, keys, shoes, coats, or anything else that typically is just tossed (trust me, everyone can be trained to put it where it belongs.)
Simplify your tasks. Instead of always thinking of everything you need to do, split it up. Think of the weekly cleaning tasks and laundry, then separate it into daily tasks. I do one cleaning task and one load of laundry a day.
If you have toys and messes everywhere that feel overwhelming every day, decrease the amount of things they can make a mess with. Look into toy rotation. Go through the toys and get rid of things they truly don’t play with. I am going through an ultimate decluttering phase and I can honestly tell you my littles have no idea how much I have gotten rid of. Start with toys then move to your own things. If you feel surrounded by “stuff”, it is so freeing to start removing the unneeded things. There are so many resources out there right now about decluttering.
By being consistent with managing your home, you may start to recognize how the energy shifts. Get everyone involved, it doesn’t have to be just you. I give the toddlers small tasks they can help with to keep our house picked up and it’s becoming something we all value. My husband and I are starting to recognize how much better our mornings feel when we tag-team pulling the house back together at the end of the day. The goal is that these small steps throughout your day will eliminate the pressure you feel from doing everything all at once.
So I want you to do some reflecting. What areas can you relate to? Did I mention anything that you may benefit from? This is simply a nutshell of things I began to recognize when it came to taking responsibility for getting our home to a more desirable state. Leave comments with questions or what you would like me to expand on.
We are all in this thing together, even when mamahood feels lonely. If I can spark an idea of bringing more ease into your home, I am here for it! From mama to mama, we all deserve the support where we can get it. I am here for you, even if it’s simply for a virtual cheer of reminding you that you got this!
